The way my cancer was found was because I had a lump on my right breast. Went to the doc, got a mammogram. That ended up being a milk gland (I was still breastfeeding). But...they found calcifications in my other breast. Did studies, biopsy, etc... and was diagnosed.
Since I was 1st diagnosed at the age of 34 it all seemed like a big nightmare... that I would wake up and it would be gone... that "maybe the doctor made a mistake." That this could not be happening to me because I had an 18 month old (baby boy)... From there I went to feelings of great fear....I remember telling my mother how afraid I was of dying…that I was too young to die. The doctor had said to me that he did not know what my prognosis was…that if we were sitting talking to each other in 5 years that maybe he could tell me a little more… that I had stage 3 and it had spread to my lymph nodes. It was very hard trying to listen to all this knowing that my son… (whom I had to suddenly stop breast feeding with no explanation that he would understand) …might have to grow up without me. That was my greatest fear… not being here to watch him grow. I remember thinking, well… maybe I can see him until he is about 5… no 10… until one day I woke up and said to myself… No more of this kind of thinking… I AM going to be around… this disease will not beat me. I am too young; he is too young… I started intensive psychotherapy, and started doing visualization with a wonderful woman who was my mom’s best friend (also a psychologist…. who worked with people going through cancer…. chemo…) I remember imagining and seeing my bad cells and killing them off keeping all the good cells intact. It was like a war inside my body that I was going to win. I was determined!!!
So… between my yearlong chemo… my mastectomy, and my visualization, things started to look better. And here I am 25 and half years later. Thank Goodness... all good today... I take it a day at a time. >>
Dora Ficher is a Fine Artist who lives and works in Center City, Philadelphia.
Her website: http://doraficherartblog.com/
Her blog: http://doraficherartblog.com/blog/
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| Dora Ficher (front row) with her Team "Breast Wars" during The Susan G. Komen 3-Day Breast Cancer Walk-2007 |
Dora, Our paths seem to be crossing in interesting ways... on the web, and hopefully in person. I am in Chester County, BRCA 1, and 8 year survivor from a double mastectomy and have made lots of art about it along the way... and of course a fellow Artist Conspirator!
ReplyDeleteHi Nancy,
ReplyDeleteIt is such a small world! So 8 yr. survivor? that's awesome! I want to look at your art and see what you made connected to BRCA.
Where in Chester County do you live? I live in CC Philly. I hope we do meet in person at some point. Have you ever done the 3Day walk?
Btw, Alyson & I are organizing for her to do a workshop in Philly in November. Maybe you can make it.
See you in the Conspiracy forum!